Karate

If you've met Owen, you know he's a very active child and always on the move.  He's been asking to do karate for a long time now, and we finally found a place that fits with what we want for Owen.  The instructors do more than teach the students to throw a punch, kick, and block hits.  They also work with them on self discipline, which is a huge issue we are having with Owen of late.  It seems that any little thing that goes wrong results in a meltdown complete with wailing, hitting, and kicking.  This seems to be a side effect of his ADHD and our frustration, as well as his, has been on the rise. 

ADHD kids live in the present and can't separate out that what is going on right now (be it not having a treat now) from the future (getting the treat later).  Their grasp of time is completely different from ours, and this seems to be where Owen is struggling.  It is so sad to see our little guy transformed into someone completely different at the drop of a hat simply because he is too in the moment.  We've tried consoling, ignoring, arguing back, time outs, taking toys, rewards, you name it and nothing seems to work. 

Just this week alone, he's had meltdowns because we didn't have anymore red Popsicles and his Nutella was on a different kind of bread.  Most people would look at him mid meltdown and say, "Dang, what a spoiled brat."  That's where it gets tricky, because from all outward appearances he is behaving like a brat.  Unfortunately, Owen can't fully comprehend that what he's used to (red Popsicles and wheat bread) isn't the way it always has to be.  He gets stuck in a hamster wheel of sorts, where his mind keeps saying "This isn't how it is supposed to be.  I always have the red Popsicle.  I can't have green.  That's not how I do it.  I can't do it."  Then, BAM, on comes the meltdown, which last from anywhere from thirty minutes or until he tires himself out crying. 

So, where does karate fit in the picture?  Owen had two whole group lessons this week and one private lesson last week.  Yes, he's still had a meltdown almost every day, but here's the kicker - today's was over in five minutes.  His instructor really focuses on the areas where students need to improve, and he knows that this is Owen's area.  He's spent time with Owen talking about how he expects him to behave, and I honestly do think it is helping. 

As parents, we have also tried really hard to not make a big deal out of his ADHD (he's clueless that he has it), and to be well-read. We now know that putting him in a public spot (as cruel as it sounds, ADHD kids don't usually put their meltdowns on display for people outside immediate family) or withholding any and all attention usually brings meltdowns to a halt quicker.  I'm hoping that between karate, David, and I, we can help get Owen back on track.  We all know he's not happy, but are working our hardest to get him there.